Friday, November 19, 2010

Goatgonzola and pureed broccoli tart, which rhymes with broken heart (as my daughter would say)

This post is more about motherhood than food, so if you have already started yawning, skip right ahead to the recipe, if you can even call it that, or see you next time.

For you moms and dads and the one or two who don't have kids (don't say I didn't warn you) still sticking around, here goes.

I always considered myself a pretty cool mom. Not as in 'I am a smokin' hot mama', more as in 'I try to be pretty relaxed when it comes to my kids'.

I am not one of those overly anxious, overprotective, overconcerned or overly nosey moms.
If my kid falls, I usually wait a second before I run over to scoop him/her up in my arms, I try to gauge how badly he/she may have gotten hurt before going all dramatic (except for that one time). When my kids play with other children, I am usually all for letting them settle their little disputes, unless I am aware that my child is greatly at fault or that my kid is being bullied. In the latter case I actually want to go over there and smack the bully in his/her snotty little face try to not interfere unless my child really cannot handle it and if I do I try to be neutral and objective. Ultimately, I think they need to learn to fend for themselves early on because it is a tough world out there and as long as they are in a safe environment under parental control, nothing that bad can happen to them. I am also not the kind of mom who needs to know every single detail about what is going on in their school, who said what, who did what and why.

So where the heck is this cool-as-a-cucumber mom I thought I was? Why am I sitting here at my desk getting all teary at the mere thought of tonight. Just the memory of that little pink, cat shaped toothbrush is enough to choke me up.

Pull yourself together lady! *Slap, slap*

I know, this is ridiculous. I am fully aware of it. If I hadn't been zonked out on drugs almost 4 years and 11 months ago due to unexpected complications, I would have actually seen them cutting the umbelical cord. My daughter is no longer a part of me, I know that, she has been an independent little girl for quite some time now. So why do I feel like someone is actually wrentching her away from me, from my insides? I thought I would be prepared, conscious that this is just the first of many such events in her journey to adulthood. How did all of you parents in the history of time do it? Granted, watching your children grow gives you a wonderful feeling of accomplishment, but it is physically painful.

Ok, here is the deal: she is going to her first sleep over, it is just a pajama party. Isn't 4 a little young to be going to pajama parties? It is just my luck that the girl having the party is the only kid in her class that does not live in a one-block radious from our apartment so I can stand in front of their building all night in case she calls. And I should be happy that my little girl is so excited about this party that she has been asking me every day for the past week when the party is. But I cannot deny that a little part of me hopes that she will be just like me when I was a little girl and will start crying and desperately want her Mommy as soon as it is time to go to bed and turn off the lights.

Truth is I know that will not be happening. I know my girl and I am pretty sure she will enjoy every minute of the pizza-movie party and sleep a deep, untroubled sleep. She will be really happy to see us in the morning when we pick her up but she will also probably put up a fight about leaving.

As much as it hurts to let my baby sleep far from me for the first time in 1,770 days since she was born I am pretty darn proud of her and how fearless she is and I know she will turn into an amazing, confident woman.

But I am making F. sleep fully-clothed and with shoes on just in case...

And now gimme some comfort food!

goat milk gorgonzola (or just any mix of blue cheese and goat cheese)
1 large head of broccoli
200ml cream
3 eggs
1/2 tbsp grated parmesan
ready made puff pastry (or homemade if you are inclined)

Boil the broccoli florets until just soft in salted water and puree with a hand held mixer or a food processor. Set aside to cool. Line or grease your pie dish and cover with the rolled out puff pastry. Cover the bottom with a the pureed broccoli (keeping 1 ot 2 tbsp aside for later use). Scatter over some pieces of the goat gorgonzola. In a bowl whisk together the three eggs, the cream, some salt and pepper. You can add in some nutmeg if you like and the grated parmesan or you can sprinkle it over the top before cooking. Add in the rest of the broccoli puree and mix well. Pour the liquid over the layer of puree and cheese, place in a preheated oven at 220° C for approximately 20/25 minutes.   


  1. Seriously, I just put eye make-up on and now you have me crying b/c I too have a 4 yr old little girl and although there have been no sleepover parties yet...I KNOW I would (and will) feel the same!

    I love this post...she'll do great :)

  2. It is such a hard job, being a mom; you are always wondering whether this or that could have been better for your kids; all I know is at the end of the day, if they know you love them, this is the main thing!

  3. Oh I'm feeling all teary for you (& I don't even have kids of my own). My mom was telling that by the time your baby girl (she was speaking of me) turns 28 or so (as I have) then your pretty well trained to recognise the signs of another level of 'letting go', it never occurred to me until we talked about this subject that having a child would involve so much heartache...., guess I've been living under a rock right!!
    She was quick to point out though that the good far, far outweighed the bad, so I didn't feel so uncomfortable about it all then ;)

  4. I dont have kids, If i did i'd be eating comfort food all the time (right now i only eat comfort food 80% of the time) LOL.
    *kisses* HH

  5. I can never even imagine being a mom...all the moms around me say it's the greatest job in the world, and that it's rewarding...but...still scary!

    I see as a mom, you go through many many stages at the same time your kid does. I'm sure she'll be awesome! :-)

  6. DW&D - Thanks for the support. As the mother of a 4-yr old, I know you can really understand me...
    TasteofBeirut - Thanks, I know you have been through this before me. As they say, if you love someone, set them free.
    Anna - I am always happy to hear the advice of someone who has been there long before me and survived it all. Thank your mom for me. Believe, before I had children (and it wasn't that long ago although i feels like a lifetime) I had no idea there is so much heartache. You only think of the diapers, the sleepless nights or graduation day and wedding for the good times hehe
    HH - The annoying thing is after a few pregnancies you need to drastically cut down on the comfort food...exactly the time you need it the most ;o)
    Sophia - Yeah, it is the greatest, most mindblowing experience in the world and it is rewarding and I could not imagine life without my kids. They are my beating heart. But it is exhausting, frustrating, scary and difficult too. Not a cup of tea, and it is good to be aware of it before planning them. Not that you can ever really be prepared.


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