Braised rabbit with black olives and ground almonds

 

 

 

I'm not that kind of girl. Really.

 

It is not like me to turn my back on a meaningful relationship because things aren't the way they used to be. Things change, we get older. I always knew that. And let's face it, he was no spring chicken to begin with. When we met he was stylish and wordly but he had had his share of relationships before me and they had certainly left their mark. It didn't matter to me then, I coveted him from afar and waited patiently, because I knew he would come to me. He did and the fact that he was older didn't matter to me at all because I loved him. All I cared about was sharing my time with someone who was really there for me, supportive, someone who was in it for the long-term. So when we walked down the street I didn't care if people stared, I just walked on, my hand curled around him, head high, confident of what we shared, disinterested in what people thought of us. So what if he was old? Nobody knew what we really shared. He knew everything about me, kept all my secrets. He made me laugh, he made me cry. Thanks to him, I contacted old friends I hadn't seen in years. He got me to stay more in touch with my family, he travelled around the world with me. He shared my fondest memories: my children growing up, our travels. So even if I saw the signs of his ageing, I shrugged them off. Until there was just no ignoring them anymore: he was suddenly slow, he just couldn't keep up with my pace anymore. He often needed to rest, to recharge his batteries.

 

 

And then it happened. A few months before Christmas, I met the object of my desire. Young, sexy, sleek, sophisticated. Fair, so different from the darker tones I was used to. He knew everything about anything, he seemed ahead of his time. I accidentally brushed him with the tips of my fingers and was amazed at how responsive he was to my touch. My head was spinning, I had forgotten what that felt like. I left immediately, ashamed of my behaviour, my heart pounding. I told no one for the longest time, not you, not my friends, not my family. How could I? I turned my head and went on with my life. I pretended I had never seen him, that he did not exist, that he wasn't suddenly everywhere I looked. I am not one to make sudden decisions and I knew I did not want to invest in a whole new relationship, the cost would be too high, it was not worth it. All relationships get old sooner or later, the excitement wears off quickly. But I couldn't shake the memory of our first encounter and my relationship was undeniably starting to show the strain. I kept trying to ignore all the signs but finally I gave in and went to look for him.

 

I could not resist, I succembed. Forgive me, but I am in love or call it lust if you prefer. I know things will change, but for now I have decided to enjoy every second.

Chocolate almond torte. For Laura

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned being upset because of sad news from close friends who live on the other side of the world and of the equator. They used to live right next door, our children grew up together, we learned to be parents together. Today the news was confirmed and it is was much worse than I ever imagined. I can't believe they are so far, that I cannot be with them, embrace them, bring them some comfort.

Today Laura was born. This is my birthday cake to her, because this will be her only birthday and I want to celebrate it. To celebrate her life, her fleeting presence in this world. She spread love to those surrounding her without even meeting them. She is love.

Happy birthday baby Laura.

Recipe from the Joy of Baking.

Ingredients 

1 cup (100gr) finely ground almonds

4 large eggs

7oz. (200gr.) bittersweet chocolate (I used over 70%), chopped

11 tbsp (150gr.) butter, cut into small pieces

3/4 cup (150gr.) sugar, divided

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp cream of tartar

a handful of almond slivers

If you are grinding your own almonds, preheat oven to 350° F (177° C) and place the blanched almonds on a baking sheet. Toast in the oven until lightly browned and fragrant. Let cool completely and then process until finely ground. Increase the oven temperature to 375° F (190° C) and line an 8 inch (20 cm) springform pan with parchment paper.

Separate the eggs, placing the yolks in one bowl and the whites in another. Make sure they are at room temperature. Melt the chopped chocolate and butter in a bowl over a saucepan of simmering water or in the microwave. Then add  1/2 cup (100gr) of white sugar to the egg yolks and beat together until pale and thick. Beat in the melted chocolate mixture and vanilla extract. Fold in the ground almonds. My batter was very dry and I worried I had made a mistake but it loosened up considerably when I folded in the egg whites.

Place the egg whites in a clean bowl and whisk until foamy. Add the cream of tartar and continue whisking until soft peaks form. Gradually sprinkle in the remaining 1/4 cup (50gr) sugar and whisk until stiff peak forms. Fold about 1/4 of the whites into the chocolate batter to lighten it. Then quickly fold in the rest of the whites and mix only until incorporated.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 45 to 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool on a wire rack. The cake rises during baking but falls during cooling, leaving some cracks in the crust. Decorate with powdered sugar or almond slivers.