Frittura di pesciolini (latterini) or deep-fried Mediterranean sea smelt

Before leaving for the beach a couple of weeks ago, we were all tired and in need of a vacation. I know I was being a little more impatient than usual with the kids, who in turn were acting a little wilder than normal. Their constant bickering, running, screaming, jumping and obliviousness to our requests generated a fair share of hollering on our side in the days before our departure.

Now, on a normal day, our meals go something like this:

Kids
"What's for dinner?"
" I don't like xyz"
"Bleah"
"You gave him more than me"
"Why doesn't he have to finish his xyz?"
"Bleah"
"Water"
"La, la, la, la, la"
"Burp"
Crash! Splash!
"I'm tired, can you feed me?"
"I have a tummy ache"
"Water"
"What's for dessert?"
"I have to go to the bathroom"
"La, la, la, la, la"
"Bleah"

Us
"Stop saying bleah, we don't say bleah about food"
"This is not a restaurant, you eat what is on the table"
"Stop watching your brother and concentrate on your vegetables"
"Stop copying your sister"
"No eating with our hands"
"Please don't throw pieces of food on the floor"
"Don't you dare spit out that piece of carrot onto my plate again"
"Sit still!"
"Your brother is two, he doesn't understand yet"
"No getting up from the table"
"Stop putting your greasy hands in your hair, we just washed it".
"If you sat still like we ask you to constantly, you wouldn't have spilled that glass of water onto my plate again!"
"Chew with your mouth closed"
"Finish chewing, then you can tell me the story"
"No singing at the table"
"No playing at the table"
"We say excuse me when we do that."

And this is bed time:

In bed, before lights out:
"Can I read a book?"
"Mommy, book?"
"No, not this book. I want that book"
"No, not that book"
"Can you read me another book"
"Please?"
"Pretty please?"
"I'm thirsty"
"Me too"
"Can I have another stuffed animal?"
"Book!"
"I'm hungry"
"Tractor in bed"

In bed, lights out:
"Moooooommmy! Daddddyyyy!"
"I'm thirsty!!!"
"It's daaaark!"
"Waaaaater!"
"I have to go to the bathroom"
"I want to wear a skirt tomorrow"
"Mommy, owie"
"He started"
"I don't want to go to school tomorrow"
"Can I have a  band-aid?"
"Waaaaaaaaaah!"
"Mommy, I forgot to tell you about my homework for next week"

Multiply this by ten and you will know what the week before leaving was like. So, yes, there was some screaming. Yes there was a spanking or two. Yes there was some door slamming and some stomping down the hall.

And then...
... but wait, before telling you the story I need to explain a few things.
I speak to my kids in English most of the time. They answer me in Italian, always. Well, most of the time. So, to be accurate, the situations I described above go more like this:

"Ho sete!"
"Cosa c'è per cena?"
"Sit still"
"Perchè lui si e io no?"
"Bleah"
"Don't copy your sister"
"Che schifo!"
"Voglio un libro"
"Stop xyz!"

We sit at the table and our conversations are a mix of Italian and English, with the English usually only coming from me.
Until last night at dinner, that is. When my son looked at my daughter, called out her name and said:

"Shut up!"

I was taken aback. Not only by the words, but by the English. Where did that come from?

"Little guy, that is not a nice thing to say. Where did you hear that?"

A few minutes later:

"Mommy, SHUT UP!"

Now, I know kids say much worse things. But hearing it from my two year old in English with a perfect American accent somehow made a stronger impact. He could have been saying: "Mom, shut the f**k up, ok?" for all I knew, because that is what it sounded like to me.

And then my mind started reeling. I remembered the other night, when I yelled "shut up!" to my daughter after 15 minutes of non-stop nagging and whining. Oh no! I am a terrible mother, I use inappropriate language and a nasty tone with my kids! I should be a patient, caring, loving mother who never, ever uses foul language in front of her children, who teaches them respect and kindness. And now I have spawned a two-year old that raises his voice and tells me to shut my face. Serves me right. When did I become this person?

So I breathed in deeply and said:

"Sweetie, you really shouldn't speak like that to your Mommy or anybody else.  When Mommy is tired she sometimes loses her patience too easily and says things she shouldn't and I am sorry. You kids sometimes do drive me crazy, but that is no excuse to talk to you like that and I will try not to use that language again."

And while I was caught up in my big speech I realized the kids were speaking to each other in a mix of Italian and English and were not even paying attention to my words:

"... and then Shrek turned to Donkey and said: "Donkey, two words: Shut! Up!"

and both fell back in their chairs in hysterics.

Moral of the story: life is never boring with children. And I still need to learn to curb my temper.

Here is a quick, cheap and sustainable meal my kids ate greedily. If you are going to give them something deep fried, make them something rich in vitamin B-12 and omega 3's instead of French fries. Believe me, even if eating the whole fish may freak you out, they probably won't even notice. Don't worry about the bones either, they are so tiny you do not feel them.

Ingredients
400gr Mediterranean sea smelt/acquarelle (or any small frying fish)
about 1 cup of flour
about 1l deep-frying oil (peanut, sunflower etc.)
salt
lemon

Start heating the oil in a pot. In the meantime, gently wash the fish under cold running water, making sure the heads don't break of. Dry with paper towel. Put the flour in a bowl and coat the fish in small batches or pour the flour into a paper or plastic bag and then add in the fish and shake until they are coated. Shake off the excess flour. When the oil is hot enough (you can test this by dipping one of the fish in it; if the oil around it starts sizzling you can proceed), fry the fish in batches. If you overcrowd the pot, the oil temperature will drop and your fish will not turn out crispy. Cook until golden brown. Place on some paper towel and cover with some more and then press down gently to absorb excess grease. Sprinkle with some salt (and lemon if you like) and serve immediately. You have to eat these hot!