In Italy, September is more than the Back-to-School-month, which as all parents know is taxing enough. It is the dreaded "inserimento" month (unless you are so unlucky as to be pushed back until October because of the long waiting list). I have thought long and hard about how to translate this word into English, but it is quite impossible given the concept itself does not exist in the Anglo-Saxon world. Integration? Admission? Orientation? I guess it is a sort of orientation multiplied by a thousand.
An
interesting article on this process written by an Italian journalist, who is the mother of twins, was published in the leading Italian newspaper just a few days ago. It is a spot-on analysis on why the stereotype of the Italian 30-year old still living at home with his
mamma actually exists. As the author rightly states, after a very different experience enrolling her children in a British school this year after several
inserimenti, the best gift we can give our children is the gift of indipendence, the confidence to stand on their own two legs.
But I digress, back to the inserimento.
Basically, when your child starts nursery school, pre-school or pre-K, the child and his/her parents have to go through a grueling process that lasts anywhere from ten days to three weeks, during which the parent slowly (and let me repeat this, slowly) gets the child accustomed to his/her new surroundings, teachers, classmates, routines etc. Needless to say I have been through this several times over the past 6 years with my two kids and it always involves endless hours of organization, guilt, massive financial expenditure and patience.
A traditional inserimento goes somewhere along these lines:
Day 1 - child and parent spend time in the classroom together from 10:30-11:30
Day 2 - parent accompanies child to classroom at 10:30, leaves after a few minutes and waits outside the room until 11:30
Day 3 - drop off at 10:30 and pick up at 1:00pm (parent is on call and has to arrive immediately if child has a crisis). Child stays for lunch
Day 4 - drop off at 9:00 and pick up at 1:00pm (unless you are unlucky, like us, and Day 4 is on a Monday, which means you drop off your child at 10:30 again because he may be traumatized after a week end at home)
Day 5 - drop off at 9:00 - pick up at 1:00pm
Day 6 - drop off at 9:00 - pick up at 3:00pm, if child survives napping at school
Day 7 - drop off at 9:00 - pick up at 3:45-4:00 (general school hours)
Day 8 - as above
Day 9 - as above
Day 10 - if child is enrolled in pre-school/after school activities, drop off 8:30am, pick up 5:30-6:00pm
During this period of time, it is desirable for one of the parents to be present, preferably the mother. If a baby-sitter/nanny is suggested, eye rolling and muttering ensues and she/he is usually only allowed after the first few days. If your child is doing really well (i.e. my daughter in her day), the process may be accelerated, but usually a minimum of a week is standard, even if said child is literally shoving you out of the classroom when you drop them off.
Then again, if your child is not dealing well or simply has caught on and is aware that every time he cries you will be summoned (i.e. my son at present), the process can take much longer.
Today my son is on Day 4. I took two days off of work for Day 1 and Day 2. My husband took 2 mornings off for Day 3 and Day 4. It is not going well. My son has turned into a koala bear that does not want to enter class, that hangs off of our legs and whimpers when we so much as try to stretch our back after kneeling on the floor with him for an hour. After Day 2, that ended really badly after I was practically forced into lying about having to go to the bathroom to leave him (he realized after a few minutes that I still wasn't back and bawled the whole 45 minutes I was gone), I was told he probably wouldn't be allowed to stay for lunch on Day 3. Yesterday he actually did stay for lunch, with poor F, the only parent left, standing quietly in a corner watching him as he ate. When F had to move away for 5 minutes to take a work call, he came back to a crying child.
So no, it is not going well. Our son does not want to go to pre-school. We feel guilty when we are in school and when we are at work. We have been paying a baby sitter since we got back from vacation and will probably have to hire her for another week if things don't change today, Day 4.